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Scripture Reflections
Sunday, 24 June, 2012, The Nativity of St John the Baptist
HEALING OUR ROOTS
SCRIPTURE READINGS: ISAIAH 49:1-6; ACTS 13:22-26; LUKE 1:57-66, 80

“‘What will this child turn out to be?’ they wondered.” We too wonder whenever a child is born. This is always the concern of every parent. All parents want their children to grow up to be happy and successful. We want them to be good and God-fearing people. We want the best for them. The greatest joy of parents is to see their children doing well in life; successful in their career, prosperous, have a good family themselves, bringing glory and pride to them.

Yet, the desire of every parent is contradicted by the very way they raise their children. In all the Awaken Retreats and in my dealings with the youth, at least 60% of their problems are due to their parents. It is ironical that parents, who are supposed to be the source of their strength, often turn out to be their enemies and the cause of their woes, heart pain, malfunctioning and downfall! How could this be so when parents love their children so much and children truly love their parents? Indeed, most young people want to please their parents and make them happy. So why is there the anomaly?

As St Paul tells us in Romans 7, the good we want to do, we don’t do; and the evil we don’t want to do, we do. The root cause of many problems in society has to do with our parents. The truth is that they themselves are very much wounded and broken like the rest of humanity. This is what Original Sin is all about. St Paul made it clear in Romans 3:21 that “all men have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” This is because in Adam, all have sinned. In other words, because we share the nature of Adam, the first parent, we too share in his psychological, hereditary and social traits. Just as we share in the genes of our parents, so too, this applies to the spiritual and psychological “genes” as well. So long as we are part of this human race, we cannot escape from inheriting their weaknesses and being influenced by them. Original Sin therefore explains existentially, why we are all broken people, ignorant due to the loss of infused knowledge; controlled by concupiscence due to the loss of integrity; fear of pain and death due to the inability to integrate into the providential plan of God. Consequently, every generation is somehow affected by the earlier generation.

Thus, all of us are sinners. Indeed, there are only two kinds of people on this earth, those who are sinners and those who think they are not sinners. As the gospel says, with the blind leading the blind, both will fall into the ditch. When we have wounded and broken parents, necessarily, they will unconsciously, if not sometimes consciously, inflict their wounds on their children. Parents often mean well in whatever they do for their children but often they are clouded by their own fears and self-interests so much so they tend to act out of their fears and insecurity rather than truly out of their love and concern for them. Parents who are confused in their own lives often confuse those under their charge as they are equally ignorant about the truth and the values of life.

The future of humanity is dependent on whether our children have an ambience of a truly loving family, where parents are united in love and forgiveness; and where gospel-based values are not only taught but lived and practised. This is becoming more and more difficult especially with a society that has become amoral, and not just immoral, relativistic, materialistic and self-centered. What is even more dangerous is the trend of promoting same sex union because it will lead to a society more fragmented than before because children will never have a holistic upbringing when they are adopted by same sex parents.

In the final analysis, what the child becomes would be dependent on the kind of formation and education they receive. Unfortunately, parents today see academic performance as the only value in education. We are more concerned whether our children are enrolled in the top schools for academic performance rather than for the moral and religious values they impart, if at all. Success is reduced to getting good grades and not about formation in ethical and moral values. Without paying attention to the religious and moral upbringing of our children, we are grooming a generation without values, a body without a soul, one that is self-centered, materialistic and lacking virtues.

Today as we celebrate the Birthday of John the Baptist, we are reminded of our responsibility as parents. Every child is truly a gift of God to the world, as in the case of the Suffering Servant in the first reading, or the birth of John the Baptist and that of our Lord. Indeed, when John the Baptist was born, his father, Zechariah gave him the name “John” which means a gift from God. As parents and guardians of children and those entrusted to look after young people, we have a duty to help each child to be truly a gift of God to the world.

This entails, first and foremost, helping them to realize the plan of God for them. All three scripture readings today reiterate that no one comes into this world by chance. We are all called even before we were born. The prophet Isaiah said, “The Lord called me before I was born, from my mother’s womb he pronounced my name.” And St Paul said, “God made David the king of our ancestors, of whom he approved in these words, “I have selected David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart, who will carry out my whole purpose.” Indeed, every child has a purpose in the plan of God. Our task is to help each child to fulfill God’s desire for them; not ours. As parents, we have a duty to be like Elizabeth who raised her child to become what God had called him to be.

So the first duty of parents is to lead their children to God! This is the most important duty of parents. Even if we have given them the best education to face the world, but if we fail to give them Jesus, we have failed miserably. The greatest gift we can give to anyone is Jesus; not toys, electronic gadgets, food or holidays! When we give them Jesus, we give them everything, purpose, mission, enthusiasm, peace, love and joy. When we lead them to God, they become loving and caring people. Those who know God will also love their neighbours. Sometimes when parents grumble that their children do not care for them, it is their own doing. When we do not give them Jesus or teach them values, we are but suffering from our failure to teach them how to love. If we want our children to be filial, then we must give them Jesus. Just instructing them alone is not sufficient to give them the strength to love. We must give them Jesus so that they can be molded in His image and likeness.

Indeed, it is our task to help them regain the glory of God lost through sin. By giving them Jesus, they in turn will become the light of the world. They will become the messengers of the Lord like John the Baptist. “It is not enough for you to be my servant, to restore the tribes of Jacob and bring back the survivors of Israel; I will make you the light of the nations so that my salvation may reach to the ends of the earth.” We must give our children purpose and a sense of mission or vocation in life.

How can we become God’s formators for our children? Being broken and wounded ourselves, we must, as parents and guardians, seek healing. We must face the fact that we are not perfect as parents. We too are in need of healing and reconciliation. In humility, we must admit that we too are seeking to grow in grace and in the love of God so that we can exercise the fatherhood and motherhood of God in our lives. We are wounded healers. It is vital that if we are to heal others, we must initiate the healing process ourselves. We must ask forgiveness from our children and our spouse.

Secondly, our children also need healing like us. They too are hurt, wounded, broken, bitter, angry and resentful with us and also with God. Many do not know how to express their hurts. In fact healing them is more challenging as they are unable to articulate their pain, since most of these pains are repressed in their sub-conscious. They do not even want to talk about them as they lack trust in people, since their very parents whom they trust so much have betrayed them. So when these are all bottled up, no healing can take place. For young people, we have to be extremely patient and tolerant. Before we can get them to open up, we need to regain their confidence, trust and love.

How then can this process be helped? In the Catholic Spirituality Center, we have the Conversion Experience Retreat; 4th Saturday Mass; Healing and Counseling Ministry to pray for the inner healing of such individuals. The Conversion Experience Retreat(CER) has proven to be the ideal place for such inner healing to take place and also the reparation of relationships. This explains why the CER has been so successful because it restores a person’s dignity, heals him of his inner wounds, his relationship with God and neighours, especially family members; and gives him a sense of mission and purpose. Of course, inner healing can take place in many forms, through personal prayer, especially the use of Ignatian Contemplation.

If we have tried our best as parents to raise our children in the faith, then we can just surrender them to God and leave them to His mercy. We know we are not inadequate as parents and we should not blame ourselves too much for our children going wayward. Society has a great part to be blamed too and this is not within our control. We can only do what we can. And so like the Suffering Servant, let us take courage and confidence in God for He said, “I have exhausted myself for nothing; and all the while my cause was with the Lord, my reward with my God. I was honoured in the eyes of the Lord, my God was my strength.” Yes, the psalmist says, “O Lord, you have probed me, you know me: you know when I sit and when I stand; you understand my thoughts from afar. My journeys and my rest you scrutinize, with all my ways you are familiar.”
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