01-22-2014, 09:57 AM
DEALING WITH SELF-RIGHTEOUS PEOPLE
SCRIPTURE READINGS: 1 SM 17:32-33, 37, 40-51; MK 3:1-6
http://www.universalis.com/20140122/mass.htm
Who are self-righteous people? How can we know whether we are such kind of people that Jesus felt so sorry for in today’s gospel? We read that Jesus “grieved to find them so obstinate.” Living and working with such self-righteous people is not easy. They test our patience, as they did with Jesus when He wanted to heal the man with a withered hand on a Sabbath Day. Of course, this was not the first time when Jesus had to break the Sabbath Law to save lives. But the Jewish leaders could not tolerate Jesus for challenging the customs of their time and most of all, they felt that their status quo was threatened by the way Jesus acted, which was winning admiration and respect from the common people.
What is significant is that although Jesus was grieved and angered by their narrow-mindedness, that did not deter Him from doing good and carrying out His work. Jesus did not allow the situation and His disappointment to derail Him from His ministry. With a heavy heart for His enemies and detractors, He refused to let His anger at their injustice prevent Him from doing what was right, even at the risk of antagonizing them further. Jesus kept His focus even whilst dealing with self-righteous people in His life.
We too are surrounded by such self-righteous people, especially among so-called holy and pious people, relatives and Church members. They think that they are always doing the right things and keeping the laws, living the gospel life better than the rest. As a result, they are always finding fault with others, or telling others of their faults. This was how the Pharisees viewed Jesus. They were observant of Jesus but in the wrong way. All they wanted was to catch Jesus making mistakes rather than listening attentively to the truth of His teachings, or demonstrating the love and mercy of God. On the contrary, “they were watching…hoping for something to use against him.”
Sad to say, for such people, they only hurt themselves more than their perceived enemies or those whom they regard as sinners. How are they destroying themselves?
Firstly, they lose objectivity of the situation. Instead of dealing with a need, they are more concerned with their unhappiness and anger. This was the case of the Pharisees. They were so angry with Jesus for upsetting their status quo that all they wanted to do was to find ways and means to eliminate Jesus, and as a consequence failed to realize that the man with the shrivelled hand was suffering. They were oblivious to his needs. One wonders if they were in the shoes of the man who was suffering, how they would feel? Or if that man was one of their loved ones, would they still be thinking of whether Jesus was breaking the Law or not. Truly, quite often in our attempt to protect our ego, we become blind to the sufferings and needs of people around us. Parents fight among themselves, trying to win the argument, indifferent to the fact that they are causing so much pain to their children or their own parents. Instead of trying to look at solving an issue, we are more concerned with being right in an argument. Family members fight and argue over how to deal with the illness of a loved one, whilst he or she is languishing in pain.
Secondly, self-righteous people are not open to reason. We know that we are dealing with self-righteous people when we cannot dialogue with them. They are irrational in their response and are carried away by their emotions when judging a situation. This was the case of the Pharisees in today’s gospel. Understanding their objection and determination to uphold the Sabbath Law to the letter, Jesus was simply provoking them to think out of the box so that they will observe not merely the letter, but the spirit of the Sabbath Law, which was to recognize that God is the Giver of Life and that life belongs to Him and not solely the work of man. Unfortunately, they were not receptive to Jesus’ reasoning and when they could not find a response to Jesus, they reacted with silence instead of acknowledging their ignorance and prejudices. However, it was a silence of shame and anger resulting in their doing the most unthinkable thing: they “at once began to plot with the Herodians against him, discussing how to destroy him.” To think that for the sake of getting rid of Jesus, the Pharisees, who could not equally get along with the Sadducees and the Herodians, would put aside their differences just to come together to plot the murder of Jesus!
Thirdly, self-righteous people cannot see the goodness in others. They are so absorbed in their own world that they see and judge everything from their perspective. They are coloured most of the time by their wounded-ness, their anger for the situation that they find themselves in, and unhappy with the world and with everyone else. They cannot see what is good in others, perceiving themselves to be holy and living an impeccable life, finding fault with others but not looking at themselves. Instead of giving thanks and appreciation to God for the blessings they have received, they become jealous of others’ blessings. Like them, the Pharisees could not see the goodness of Jesus’ intention in helping the man who was suffering.
What could be the reasons for their behaving in such a manner? Firstly, they feel threatened. It is natural that we all have a survival instinct. When we perceive that someone is our competitor or our enemy, we tend to dislike that person for fear that he or she will overshadow us. So we seek to eliminate our opponents by exploiting their weaknesses and exaggerating their failures at the expense of the good they do. A person who does not feel threatened need not act in that manner, as in the case of David who fought with the Philistine. He was confident that he would win the battle with the Lord on his side, so he did not have to issue threats unlike the big bully who not only was filled with scorn for David but taunted and cursed him and insulted David’s God.
Secondly, self-righteous people are insecure people. They need to put others down so that they can feel good about themselves. They need to focus on the faults of others so that they have no time to see their own. They want terribly to feel good about themselves as they cannot find affirmation from others. They want people to think highly of them as they do not even love themselves. By condemning others and judging others, it helps them to feel that they are better than them. It is therefore but a defense mechanism one uses because of low self- esteem. Unable to accept themselves, how can we expect them to accept others?
What then can we do when dealing with such self-righteous people who are so over confident of themselves, masking their deep insecurity and fear?
Firstly, let us keep focus on what we do, so long as our conscience is clear, as Jesus did. We need not back out simply because of opposition in life. Jesus did not bend to His enemies just because they did not like what He was doing. Jesus, after having tried His best to win them over, carried on what He believed to be life-giving, regardless of the displeasure of His enemies. We too must pray for the courage to continue to do what is right even at the expense of our peace and security. That was what David did. He knew that the Lord was on his side. “’You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel that you have dared to insult. Today the Lord will deliver you into my hand… so that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel, and that all this assembly may know that it is not by sword or by spear that the Lord gives the victory, for he is lord of the battle and he will deliver you into our power.”
Secondly, we must search ourselves; pray for an open mind and a humble heart as we listen to our critics. Instead of rejecting outright the criticisms that come from self-righteous people around us, we must listen intently to the extent of the truth of what they say, even when it is not totally objective. What we must be concerned is that we bring ourselves before the Lord for only He is our judge. St Paul reminds us often when he wrote to the Corinthians, “I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God.” (1 Cor 4:3-5) And to the Romans, he said, “Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way. (Rom 14:13)
Finally, let us not react to those who are not life-giving and affirming by putting them down as well. Then we will not be any better than them. Even then, by humiliating them, they will only respond with greater hostility. In such a situation, it would be better to act like Jesus who said no more to the Pharisees but just continued what He knew was the right thing to do. Let us pray for them for they too need healing, are broken and wounded. Only the Lord can enlighten their minds and heal their hearts because we know in the final analysis, if we suffer hostilities from our enemies, it is because they ignorantly perceive us as threats to their well-being or rather their selfish convenience. And with Jesus, we pray, “Forgive, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.” (Lk 23:34)
SCRIPTURE READINGS: 1 SM 17:32-33, 37, 40-51; MK 3:1-6
http://www.universalis.com/20140122/mass.htm
Who are self-righteous people? How can we know whether we are such kind of people that Jesus felt so sorry for in today’s gospel? We read that Jesus “grieved to find them so obstinate.” Living and working with such self-righteous people is not easy. They test our patience, as they did with Jesus when He wanted to heal the man with a withered hand on a Sabbath Day. Of course, this was not the first time when Jesus had to break the Sabbath Law to save lives. But the Jewish leaders could not tolerate Jesus for challenging the customs of their time and most of all, they felt that their status quo was threatened by the way Jesus acted, which was winning admiration and respect from the common people.
What is significant is that although Jesus was grieved and angered by their narrow-mindedness, that did not deter Him from doing good and carrying out His work. Jesus did not allow the situation and His disappointment to derail Him from His ministry. With a heavy heart for His enemies and detractors, He refused to let His anger at their injustice prevent Him from doing what was right, even at the risk of antagonizing them further. Jesus kept His focus even whilst dealing with self-righteous people in His life.
We too are surrounded by such self-righteous people, especially among so-called holy and pious people, relatives and Church members. They think that they are always doing the right things and keeping the laws, living the gospel life better than the rest. As a result, they are always finding fault with others, or telling others of their faults. This was how the Pharisees viewed Jesus. They were observant of Jesus but in the wrong way. All they wanted was to catch Jesus making mistakes rather than listening attentively to the truth of His teachings, or demonstrating the love and mercy of God. On the contrary, “they were watching…hoping for something to use against him.”
Sad to say, for such people, they only hurt themselves more than their perceived enemies or those whom they regard as sinners. How are they destroying themselves?
Firstly, they lose objectivity of the situation. Instead of dealing with a need, they are more concerned with their unhappiness and anger. This was the case of the Pharisees. They were so angry with Jesus for upsetting their status quo that all they wanted to do was to find ways and means to eliminate Jesus, and as a consequence failed to realize that the man with the shrivelled hand was suffering. They were oblivious to his needs. One wonders if they were in the shoes of the man who was suffering, how they would feel? Or if that man was one of their loved ones, would they still be thinking of whether Jesus was breaking the Law or not. Truly, quite often in our attempt to protect our ego, we become blind to the sufferings and needs of people around us. Parents fight among themselves, trying to win the argument, indifferent to the fact that they are causing so much pain to their children or their own parents. Instead of trying to look at solving an issue, we are more concerned with being right in an argument. Family members fight and argue over how to deal with the illness of a loved one, whilst he or she is languishing in pain.
Secondly, self-righteous people are not open to reason. We know that we are dealing with self-righteous people when we cannot dialogue with them. They are irrational in their response and are carried away by their emotions when judging a situation. This was the case of the Pharisees in today’s gospel. Understanding their objection and determination to uphold the Sabbath Law to the letter, Jesus was simply provoking them to think out of the box so that they will observe not merely the letter, but the spirit of the Sabbath Law, which was to recognize that God is the Giver of Life and that life belongs to Him and not solely the work of man. Unfortunately, they were not receptive to Jesus’ reasoning and when they could not find a response to Jesus, they reacted with silence instead of acknowledging their ignorance and prejudices. However, it was a silence of shame and anger resulting in their doing the most unthinkable thing: they “at once began to plot with the Herodians against him, discussing how to destroy him.” To think that for the sake of getting rid of Jesus, the Pharisees, who could not equally get along with the Sadducees and the Herodians, would put aside their differences just to come together to plot the murder of Jesus!
Thirdly, self-righteous people cannot see the goodness in others. They are so absorbed in their own world that they see and judge everything from their perspective. They are coloured most of the time by their wounded-ness, their anger for the situation that they find themselves in, and unhappy with the world and with everyone else. They cannot see what is good in others, perceiving themselves to be holy and living an impeccable life, finding fault with others but not looking at themselves. Instead of giving thanks and appreciation to God for the blessings they have received, they become jealous of others’ blessings. Like them, the Pharisees could not see the goodness of Jesus’ intention in helping the man who was suffering.
What could be the reasons for their behaving in such a manner? Firstly, they feel threatened. It is natural that we all have a survival instinct. When we perceive that someone is our competitor or our enemy, we tend to dislike that person for fear that he or she will overshadow us. So we seek to eliminate our opponents by exploiting their weaknesses and exaggerating their failures at the expense of the good they do. A person who does not feel threatened need not act in that manner, as in the case of David who fought with the Philistine. He was confident that he would win the battle with the Lord on his side, so he did not have to issue threats unlike the big bully who not only was filled with scorn for David but taunted and cursed him and insulted David’s God.
Secondly, self-righteous people are insecure people. They need to put others down so that they can feel good about themselves. They need to focus on the faults of others so that they have no time to see their own. They want terribly to feel good about themselves as they cannot find affirmation from others. They want people to think highly of them as they do not even love themselves. By condemning others and judging others, it helps them to feel that they are better than them. It is therefore but a defense mechanism one uses because of low self- esteem. Unable to accept themselves, how can we expect them to accept others?
What then can we do when dealing with such self-righteous people who are so over confident of themselves, masking their deep insecurity and fear?
Firstly, let us keep focus on what we do, so long as our conscience is clear, as Jesus did. We need not back out simply because of opposition in life. Jesus did not bend to His enemies just because they did not like what He was doing. Jesus, after having tried His best to win them over, carried on what He believed to be life-giving, regardless of the displeasure of His enemies. We too must pray for the courage to continue to do what is right even at the expense of our peace and security. That was what David did. He knew that the Lord was on his side. “’You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel that you have dared to insult. Today the Lord will deliver you into my hand… so that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel, and that all this assembly may know that it is not by sword or by spear that the Lord gives the victory, for he is lord of the battle and he will deliver you into our power.”
Secondly, we must search ourselves; pray for an open mind and a humble heart as we listen to our critics. Instead of rejecting outright the criticisms that come from self-righteous people around us, we must listen intently to the extent of the truth of what they say, even when it is not totally objective. What we must be concerned is that we bring ourselves before the Lord for only He is our judge. St Paul reminds us often when he wrote to the Corinthians, “I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God.” (1 Cor 4:3-5) And to the Romans, he said, “Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way. (Rom 14:13)
Finally, let us not react to those who are not life-giving and affirming by putting them down as well. Then we will not be any better than them. Even then, by humiliating them, they will only respond with greater hostility. In such a situation, it would be better to act like Jesus who said no more to the Pharisees but just continued what He knew was the right thing to do. Let us pray for them for they too need healing, are broken and wounded. Only the Lord can enlighten their minds and heal their hearts because we know in the final analysis, if we suffer hostilities from our enemies, it is because they ignorantly perceive us as threats to their well-being or rather their selfish convenience. And with Jesus, we pray, “Forgive, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.” (Lk 23:34)