07-10-2015, 02:08 PM
WHEN FILIAL PIETY TO GOD RENDS OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR LOVED ONES
SCRIPTURE READINGS: GN 46:1-7. 28-30; MT 10:16-23
In today’s gospel, Jesus warns the Twelve that the proclamation of the Good News could ironically bring family division. He said, “Brother will betray brother to death, and the father his child; children will rise against their parents and have them put to death.” This, perhaps, is the most painful part of discipleship. We do not mind following Christ, but when the cost of discipleship entails rejection at home or a rift with our loved ones or even persecution, this is more than we can bear.
Indeed, the forewarning of Jesus is as real for us today as it was with the disciples. We can be certain that when St Matthew wrote his gospel, Christianity, which was then winning converts, must have also resulted in much friction in family life, especially when many of these converts were formerly practicing Judaism. With the Jewish Christians expelled from the synagogues in AD 70, they were then persecuted by their fellow Jews. Those who accepted Christ would surely have faced rejection by family members and also ostracism from their community. Such was the price of faith in Christ.
Such, too, is the price of faith even in our day, where society is supposedly more secular, relativistic and open. Many of our Christian converts tell of how their relationships were impacted by their conversion to Christianity, as their loved ones found it hard to accept their conversion.
The truth is that faith in Christ is more than just attending church services and practicing some rituals; it is a whole Copernican revolution in the way we see God, people, ourselves and the values of life. So whether we like it or not, if our faith in God is different from that of our loved ones, there is bound to be tension, depending on how accommodating they are to our beliefs and we to theirs. Bickering over practices of faith and differences in values are not uncommon. In some cases, the spouses even forbid their partners to attend church services, pray or read the bible. And even though the non-Catholic partner promised that their children would be baptized, many of them renege on their promises and even disallow their children from learning or practicing the faith.
This form of division exists even among practicing and devout Catholics. Many parents object strongly to their children wanting to join the religious life or the priesthood. Some threaten to disown them, even though they are avowed Catholics! At times, it could be because of a love relationship. To give up our loved ones for the sake of the gospel is perhaps the greatest of all sacrifices. It breaks not just one’s own heart but that of our beloved. So we can imagine how much Jesus’ mother had to go through in offering her only son to us and how much more our heavenly Father had to empty Himself to give up His only Son for our redemption!
But if one thinks that family division ends here, it does not. The Church is our bigger family. When we have to speak out against our superiors, parish priest or leaders in our church organizations because of perceived wrongs, injustices or scandals, this also hurts us deeply. We do not want to be the cause of division, but by failing to speak the truth, we would be doing the community a greater harm in the long run. But being truthful may make us unpopular and even ridiculed and persecuted. So the gospel also brings division in the Christian community; the Word of God being “living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and spirit, of joins and marrows” (Heb 4:12).
By extension, we can also include our workplace as our family. When there are disagreements with regard to values in business ethics, living out our faith could result in us being marginalized, and rifts and misunderstandings with our colleagues and bosses may ensue.
So when faith threatens to drive a wedge between our loved ones and our faith, what should we do? We do not want to lose our faith, but neither do we want to lose our loved ones and status in life. This was the same challenge for Jacob in today’s first reading. He was uncomfortable about moving to Egypt for fear of abandoning his religious and cultural traditions and being unfaithful to his ancestors and to God. On the other hand, he yearned to be with Joseph, his lost son whom he had not seen for many years. He would never be able to die in peace without being reconciled with his son. This is true for all of us, parents and children. To die without being reconciled with our loved ones would be the greatest regret in life. So like him, we are in a conundrum. Should we choose God or choose man?
The scripture readings today are very assuring. God is merciful and all understanding. God recognized the need of Jacob, the pain in his heart. In His divine providence, He permitted him to go to Egypt but He also assured him that the promises made to his forefathers would stay and that he would return to the Promised Land once again. In the same way too, God is merciful and kind to us. We must be patient when our loved ones disagree with us and object to our beliefs. We must give them time to come to terms with our faith and our hearts’ desire. Such things cannot be forced and our loved ones must be given time to adapt and to accept. We must learn patience and practice compassion towards their resistance.
Secondly, we must learn to act wisely and prudently. Instead of reacting to their hostilities, we must exercise tact in dealing with them. Isn’t that what Jesus urges us? He said, “’Remember, I am sending you out like sheep among wolves; so be cunning as serpents and yet as harmless as doves.” So, like serpents, we must be wise and prudent. Like doves, we must be gentle and harmless. If we react, we would only create greater disharmony.
And if the heat gets too strong for us, it is better, as Jesus advises us, to flee: “If they persecute you in one town, take refuge in the next; and if they persecute you in that, take refuge in another.” We need not ‘take the bull by its horns’ in every situation. Sometimes, as the proverb tells us, it is better to run and fight another day. Hence, if our loved ones become too violent and hostile, let us stay cool and wait for grace to take over. God is greater than their resistance. He will settle the conflict for us.
Of course, this requires that we trust in the Lord totally. God knows better than we do. Instead of taking things into our own hands, let the grace of divine providence work its way through our history and our lives. Only Christ and the grace of God can change them, as Jesus said, “I tell you solemnly, you will have gone the round of the towns of Israel before the Son of Man comes.”
So today in our trials, especially when we are at variance with our loved ones with regard to our faith, let us follow Jacob and bring our fears and anxieties to the Lord. God will speak to us in prayer or in a vision as He did to Jacob and give us the direction as to what we should do. Yes, Jesus encourages us to trust in His heavenly Father no matter what happens. Pray to the Holy Spirit, for He says, “when they hand you over, do not worry about how to speak or what to say; what you are to say will be given to you when the time comes; because it is not you who will be speaking; the Spirit of your Father will be speaking on you.”
Finally, let us remember that even if conflicts and persecutions cannot be avoided, let these be occasions for us to witness to the gospel of love and compassion by our lives of non-violence and forgiveness towards those who hate us for seeking to live the gospel life of truth and love. As Jesus said, “You will be dragged before governors and kings for my sake, to bear witness before them and the pagans.” We are reminded of the words of St Peter, “But even if you do suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled but in your hearts reverence Christ as Lord.” ( 1 Pt 3:14)
Written by The Most Rev William Goh
SCRIPTURE READINGS: GN 46:1-7. 28-30; MT 10:16-23
In today’s gospel, Jesus warns the Twelve that the proclamation of the Good News could ironically bring family division. He said, “Brother will betray brother to death, and the father his child; children will rise against their parents and have them put to death.” This, perhaps, is the most painful part of discipleship. We do not mind following Christ, but when the cost of discipleship entails rejection at home or a rift with our loved ones or even persecution, this is more than we can bear.
Indeed, the forewarning of Jesus is as real for us today as it was with the disciples. We can be certain that when St Matthew wrote his gospel, Christianity, which was then winning converts, must have also resulted in much friction in family life, especially when many of these converts were formerly practicing Judaism. With the Jewish Christians expelled from the synagogues in AD 70, they were then persecuted by their fellow Jews. Those who accepted Christ would surely have faced rejection by family members and also ostracism from their community. Such was the price of faith in Christ.
Such, too, is the price of faith even in our day, where society is supposedly more secular, relativistic and open. Many of our Christian converts tell of how their relationships were impacted by their conversion to Christianity, as their loved ones found it hard to accept their conversion.
The truth is that faith in Christ is more than just attending church services and practicing some rituals; it is a whole Copernican revolution in the way we see God, people, ourselves and the values of life. So whether we like it or not, if our faith in God is different from that of our loved ones, there is bound to be tension, depending on how accommodating they are to our beliefs and we to theirs. Bickering over practices of faith and differences in values are not uncommon. In some cases, the spouses even forbid their partners to attend church services, pray or read the bible. And even though the non-Catholic partner promised that their children would be baptized, many of them renege on their promises and even disallow their children from learning or practicing the faith.
This form of division exists even among practicing and devout Catholics. Many parents object strongly to their children wanting to join the religious life or the priesthood. Some threaten to disown them, even though they are avowed Catholics! At times, it could be because of a love relationship. To give up our loved ones for the sake of the gospel is perhaps the greatest of all sacrifices. It breaks not just one’s own heart but that of our beloved. So we can imagine how much Jesus’ mother had to go through in offering her only son to us and how much more our heavenly Father had to empty Himself to give up His only Son for our redemption!
But if one thinks that family division ends here, it does not. The Church is our bigger family. When we have to speak out against our superiors, parish priest or leaders in our church organizations because of perceived wrongs, injustices or scandals, this also hurts us deeply. We do not want to be the cause of division, but by failing to speak the truth, we would be doing the community a greater harm in the long run. But being truthful may make us unpopular and even ridiculed and persecuted. So the gospel also brings division in the Christian community; the Word of God being “living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and spirit, of joins and marrows” (Heb 4:12).
By extension, we can also include our workplace as our family. When there are disagreements with regard to values in business ethics, living out our faith could result in us being marginalized, and rifts and misunderstandings with our colleagues and bosses may ensue.
So when faith threatens to drive a wedge between our loved ones and our faith, what should we do? We do not want to lose our faith, but neither do we want to lose our loved ones and status in life. This was the same challenge for Jacob in today’s first reading. He was uncomfortable about moving to Egypt for fear of abandoning his religious and cultural traditions and being unfaithful to his ancestors and to God. On the other hand, he yearned to be with Joseph, his lost son whom he had not seen for many years. He would never be able to die in peace without being reconciled with his son. This is true for all of us, parents and children. To die without being reconciled with our loved ones would be the greatest regret in life. So like him, we are in a conundrum. Should we choose God or choose man?
The scripture readings today are very assuring. God is merciful and all understanding. God recognized the need of Jacob, the pain in his heart. In His divine providence, He permitted him to go to Egypt but He also assured him that the promises made to his forefathers would stay and that he would return to the Promised Land once again. In the same way too, God is merciful and kind to us. We must be patient when our loved ones disagree with us and object to our beliefs. We must give them time to come to terms with our faith and our hearts’ desire. Such things cannot be forced and our loved ones must be given time to adapt and to accept. We must learn patience and practice compassion towards their resistance.
Secondly, we must learn to act wisely and prudently. Instead of reacting to their hostilities, we must exercise tact in dealing with them. Isn’t that what Jesus urges us? He said, “’Remember, I am sending you out like sheep among wolves; so be cunning as serpents and yet as harmless as doves.” So, like serpents, we must be wise and prudent. Like doves, we must be gentle and harmless. If we react, we would only create greater disharmony.
And if the heat gets too strong for us, it is better, as Jesus advises us, to flee: “If they persecute you in one town, take refuge in the next; and if they persecute you in that, take refuge in another.” We need not ‘take the bull by its horns’ in every situation. Sometimes, as the proverb tells us, it is better to run and fight another day. Hence, if our loved ones become too violent and hostile, let us stay cool and wait for grace to take over. God is greater than their resistance. He will settle the conflict for us.
Of course, this requires that we trust in the Lord totally. God knows better than we do. Instead of taking things into our own hands, let the grace of divine providence work its way through our history and our lives. Only Christ and the grace of God can change them, as Jesus said, “I tell you solemnly, you will have gone the round of the towns of Israel before the Son of Man comes.”
So today in our trials, especially when we are at variance with our loved ones with regard to our faith, let us follow Jacob and bring our fears and anxieties to the Lord. God will speak to us in prayer or in a vision as He did to Jacob and give us the direction as to what we should do. Yes, Jesus encourages us to trust in His heavenly Father no matter what happens. Pray to the Holy Spirit, for He says, “when they hand you over, do not worry about how to speak or what to say; what you are to say will be given to you when the time comes; because it is not you who will be speaking; the Spirit of your Father will be speaking on you.”
Finally, let us remember that even if conflicts and persecutions cannot be avoided, let these be occasions for us to witness to the gospel of love and compassion by our lives of non-violence and forgiveness towards those who hate us for seeking to live the gospel life of truth and love. As Jesus said, “You will be dragged before governors and kings for my sake, to bear witness before them and the pagans.” We are reminded of the words of St Peter, “But even if you do suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled but in your hearts reverence Christ as Lord.” ( 1 Pt 3:14)
Written by The Most Rev William Goh