08-19-2015, 09:47 AM
DO NOT COMPARE BUT ACCEPT EVERYTHING GRACEFULLY
SCRIPTURE READINGS: JUDGES 9: 6-15; MT 20:1-16
When someone is feeling down, and he comes to us, what is the normal thing most of us would do? We would try to console the person by asking him or her to think positive. And the normal way to go about it is to ask the person to count his or her blessings. But often we go beyond that and tell the person to compare his blessings with others. Probably, we would give the example of the man who complained that he had no shoes until he walked out of his house and saw a man who had no legs. I used to advocate such an approach to suffering until one day I realized that there is a serious flaw in such kind of counsel.
It all began like this. Some time ago, I was feeling depressed and so I turned to someone for consolation. And this person gave me precisely this piece of advice. I was told to think positive by looking at the blessings that I have, both in myself and in my ministry, compared with others in their situations. In irritation, I retorted; “So in other words, my happiness is dependent on how much worse other people are compared to me.” And so I can be happy only if another person is worse off than me! But what if find someone who is better off than me? Does it mean that I will fall into depression again?
But such an attitude is very unchristian. This is selfish competition. Our happiness is therefore dependent on what we have that others have not. If that were the case, we will always be discontented like those labourers in the vineyard. The workers were disgruntled not because the employer was unjust but because those who worked less received more in their eyes. Envy due to comparison was their real source of unhappiness. It is the problem of the ego.
Against this kind of competition mentality and power-struggle, the parable teaches us the spirit of contentment. Firstly, the parables teach us that everything is grace. God has apportioned to each one of us whatever grace we need. Secondly, happiness is ours only if we begin to enjoy and treasure what we already have and not compare ourselves with others. The problem with us is that we want to compare ourselves with others. Once we start comparing ourselves with others, we lose our happiness. We begin to desire for things not for themselves but so that we can be better than our neighbours. But God does not want us to compare!
That is why in the Gospel, Jesus tells us that for God, the first is last and the last, first. Our happiness in life is not dependent on whether we are the first or the last. Happiness is not dependent on how much or how little we have. Rather, happiness in life is when we use whatever gifts God has given us fully, according to the situation in which we have been called. We should avoid comparisons or else we will become bitter and resentful.
The first reading, on the parable of the king of trees, reminds us that when a good tree fails to answer the call to responsible service, the thorn bush takes over. So, too, in our hearts, where true virtues do not rule our lives, less Christ-like attitudes surface. Such competitive spirit not only will destroy our relationships with others but make us forever disgruntled in life.
Written by The Most Rev William Goh
SCRIPTURE READINGS: JUDGES 9: 6-15; MT 20:1-16
When someone is feeling down, and he comes to us, what is the normal thing most of us would do? We would try to console the person by asking him or her to think positive. And the normal way to go about it is to ask the person to count his or her blessings. But often we go beyond that and tell the person to compare his blessings with others. Probably, we would give the example of the man who complained that he had no shoes until he walked out of his house and saw a man who had no legs. I used to advocate such an approach to suffering until one day I realized that there is a serious flaw in such kind of counsel.
It all began like this. Some time ago, I was feeling depressed and so I turned to someone for consolation. And this person gave me precisely this piece of advice. I was told to think positive by looking at the blessings that I have, both in myself and in my ministry, compared with others in their situations. In irritation, I retorted; “So in other words, my happiness is dependent on how much worse other people are compared to me.” And so I can be happy only if another person is worse off than me! But what if find someone who is better off than me? Does it mean that I will fall into depression again?
But such an attitude is very unchristian. This is selfish competition. Our happiness is therefore dependent on what we have that others have not. If that were the case, we will always be discontented like those labourers in the vineyard. The workers were disgruntled not because the employer was unjust but because those who worked less received more in their eyes. Envy due to comparison was their real source of unhappiness. It is the problem of the ego.
Against this kind of competition mentality and power-struggle, the parable teaches us the spirit of contentment. Firstly, the parables teach us that everything is grace. God has apportioned to each one of us whatever grace we need. Secondly, happiness is ours only if we begin to enjoy and treasure what we already have and not compare ourselves with others. The problem with us is that we want to compare ourselves with others. Once we start comparing ourselves with others, we lose our happiness. We begin to desire for things not for themselves but so that we can be better than our neighbours. But God does not want us to compare!
That is why in the Gospel, Jesus tells us that for God, the first is last and the last, first. Our happiness in life is not dependent on whether we are the first or the last. Happiness is not dependent on how much or how little we have. Rather, happiness in life is when we use whatever gifts God has given us fully, according to the situation in which we have been called. We should avoid comparisons or else we will become bitter and resentful.
The first reading, on the parable of the king of trees, reminds us that when a good tree fails to answer the call to responsible service, the thorn bush takes over. So, too, in our hearts, where true virtues do not rule our lives, less Christ-like attitudes surface. Such competitive spirit not only will destroy our relationships with others but make us forever disgruntled in life.
Written by The Most Rev William Goh