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BEARING THE COST OF DISCIPLESHIP IS POSSIBLE ONLY IN LOVE - stephenkhoo - 11-06-2013 09:47 AM
BEARING THE COST OF DISCIPLESHIP IS POSSIBLE ONLY IN LOVE
SCRIPTURE READINGS: ROM 13:8-10; LK 14:25-33
http://www.universalis.com/20131106/mass.htm
The demands of Jesus on His disciples seem rather harsh and exacting. In no uncertain terms, He told the crowds who accompanied Him on His way, ‘If any man comes to me without hating his father, mother, wife, children, brothers, sisters, yes and his own life too, he cannot be my disciple.” Being disciples of Jesus therefore involves great personal cost. From His disciples, Jesus demanded total commitment to Him even to the extent of putting family members and loved ones second to Him. As if this is not enough, the disciples of Jesus are expected to practise not only detachment but self-denial even to the extent of giving up their lives to Jesus. Most of all, we are to carry our crosses in life and follow after Him. Indeed, “anyone who does not carry his cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.” As if these conditions are not already too trying, He also said, “None of you can be my disciple unless he gives up all his possessions.” Indeed, how many of us come close to living out the conditions placed on Christian discipleship? Who would be willing to give up His loved ones for the sake of Jesus? To hate one’s life, carrying the cross and giving up our possessions is already asking for too much.
It is for this reason that Jesus asks us to consider carefully whether we truly want to be His disciples. He gave the example of the man building a tower and the king who set out to war. We need to ask ourselves whether we are ready to make the sacrifices and whether we have calculated the cost. The truth is that many today want to be Catholics and bear the name of Christians but not many are living out the gospel life. Many of us are merely nominal Catholics. Baptism for many Catholics is merely a ritual they go through. Sometimes, we wonder how many of our Catechumens are truly ready for baptism and whether they know what kind of commitment is required of them. If these catechumens are not properly prepared and have not yet arrived at a personal faith in Christ, then their faith will not last. The enthusiasm and euphoria of the baptism will wear off in no time. This is true also for our young people when they receive confirmation. Again, we wonder whether our confirmants are ready to be witnesses of Christ in the world by living a mature adult Christian life, in words and in deeds. The truth is that confirmation might be the last time we would be seeing them in Church and they are only too happy that they do not have to go for catechism classes any more.
Such kind of discipleship will not give us life in any sense. Nothing short of a personal commitment to the Lord is sufficient to give us life. If Jesus makes such absolute commitment on us it is because without giving ourselves fully to Him, we cannot truly love our parents and loved ones. Without giving ourselves to Him by taking up our cross and following after Him, we would in the face of difficulties give up easily. Without detachment from our possessions, we will remain under the bondage of idolatry and we will not be free for love and free in love. But once we give ourselves entirely to Jesus, then we become free to love our loved ones. Giving ourselves to Jesus does not mean taking us away from loving our parents and friends. On the contrary in giving ourselves to Jesus completely, we are able to love our parents and friends unconditionally and without any pretense or conditions whatsoever. The love will be pure and selfless for them and less for ourselves. We will love them for themselves rather than love them for ourselves. Similarly, when we are not possessed by our possessions, we become more generous, compassionate, kind and giving towards those who are suffering. So the truth of Jesus making such demands is not because He is self-centered but because He wants us to share the liberating and healing love He has for us.
How could one undertake this risk of giving up everyone and everything for Jesus unless we have first been loved? In St Paul’s letter to the Romans, his instructions for us to love each other by observing the commandments presupposes we have been justified by God’s mercy in Christ. Otherwise, St Paul who earlier on insisted that the Laws cannot save us now seems to be telling us to obey the laws. The difference between the observance of the Laws before and after justification lies in the change of attitude on account of Christ’s love for us. Only having been loved by Christ and forgiven through His death on the cross, can we now likewise die to our sins and live a new life in Him.
Furthermore, in observing the commandments, it is not merely an external observance based on fear of God’s punishment or wanting to earn merits and boosting one’s ego. Rather, it is the consequence of wanting to share the love and mercy that one has received freely from God. Hence, St Paul says, “Avoid getting into debt, except the debt of mutual love. If you love your fellow men you have carried out your obligations. All the commandments … are summed up in this single command: You must love your neighbour as yourself. Love is the one thing that cannot hurt your neighbour; that is why it is the answer to every one of the commandments.” Recognizing this debt of mutual love, then we can appreciate why Jesus invites us to give ourselves totally to Him so that He can fill us with His love. The psalmist assures us that “The good man takes pity and lends, he conducts his affairs with honour. Open-handed, he gives to the poor; his justice stands firm for ever. His head will be raised in glory.”
Indeed, the day when we get tired of loving and serving our fellowmen, it means that our love for the Lord is also waning. To the extent we love the Lord; to that extent we will love others. When we begin to complain of the crosses we carry for the love of others, then it implies that we love out of duty and obligation. This is true of those in marriage life. When husband and wife are no longing loving and caring towards each other, the duties of marriage life are carried out without joy and without love. The marriage is reduced to fulfilling one’s marital obligations and parental responsibilities. No wonder many marriages lack fire, enthusiasm and passion, because couples tend to take each other for granted and fail to renew their love and romance for each other.
When love is lost, marriage and ministry in the Church becomes a goal, a career or a duty. We forget the noble demands of our calling, which is to love freely and selflessly. Soon, ministry becomes the way we can satisfy our need for power and recognition. Then we have an unhealthy kind of competitive spirit in the end – all wanting to be better than others for the wrong reasons. Yes, when love is lost, there is no more reason to carry the cross, no more strength to deny oneself or to practise charity. We start living for only ourselves. And therefore we do not accept the crosses of life joyfully but always grudgingly. Without a personal love for Jesus, who would want to share in His cross? However when we love someone, we desire to suffer with and for our beloved. Sacrifices are meaningful only in the context of love.
Life is not easy regardless of whichever state we are in, but I believe that the only thing that can really pull us through is our conviction that love can be real. Sometimes the situation seems to be hopeless and we feel like giving up. But our faith in Jesus and His love in us will give us the grace to persevere in love in a loveless situation, in hope even in hopeless situation. Love will triumph in the end. Jesus showed it by the cross and it will be that way for us all. Only the victory of the cross of love can sustain us in our struggles.