+- Luckymodena (http://lucky.myftp.org:8181/forum)
+-- Forum: Life Voyage : Life, experience and sharing (/forumdisplay.php?fid=10)
+--- Forum: Scripture readings (/forumdisplay.php?fid=12)
+--- Thread: HANDLING SUCCESS AND POPULARITY IN THE FACE OF JEALOUSY (/showthread.php?tid=2278)
HANDLING SUCCESS AND POPULARITY IN THE FACE OF JEALOUSY - stephenkhoo - 01-23-2014 02:39 PM
HANDLING SUCCESS AND POPULARITY IN THE FACE OF JEALOUSY
SCRIPTURE READINGS: 1 SM 18:6-9; 19:1-7; MARK 3:7-12
http://www.universalis.com/20140123/mass.htm
In the gospel, we read of the success of Jesus’ ministry and His growing popularity. Wherever He went, “great crowds from Galilee followed him”. So much so He had to instruct His disciples “to have a boat ready for him because of the crowd, to keep him from being crushed.”
Jesus was a hit in town not only because He taught with authority and left an impression on them but also because He was a great healer. Indeed, “he has cured so many that all who were afflicted in any way were crowding forward to touch him.” Similarly, David too was very successful as a warrior. So great was his military success that the people would acclaim “Saul has killed his thousands, and David his tens of thousands.”
It is great to know we are bearing fruits in our ministry or in whatever we do. Yet, success has its downside because inevitably we stir up jealousy, even if there was no intention on our part, as in the case of Jesus and David. The devil will tempt others to envy. Indeed, we read that Saul was enraged when he heard his own people proclaiming David to be a better warrior. Yes, “Saul was very angry; the incident was not to his liking.’They have given David the tens of thousands,’ he said, ‘but me only the thousands; he has all but the kingship now.’” This was the case of the Pharisees and scribes who were jealous of Jesus’ success. Instead of dealing with Jesus objectively, they began to slander Him and cast aspersions on Him, insinuating that He was performing miracles through the help of Beelzebul.
Such is the reality in our ministry as well and at our work place. This should not be a surprise to us as all of us are broken people, brought up in a culture where a person is appreciated and loved not for what he is but what he can do. Since all of us are so desperate for love and appreciation, we cannot but feel envious that others are given the accolade and attention over us. Jealousy is always the consequence of emotional insecurity. The world tends to associate security with power, control and success. Isn’t this fear articulated so aptly by King Saul when he said of David, “he has all but the kingship now!” It was out of fear that he sought to destroy David whom he perceived as his enemy, even though David never aspired to kingship.
This unfortunately also happens within the Church. It is quite common to hear fellow Catholics and the clergy criticizing other organizations or individuals who seem to be successful in what they are doing. Sometimes, it leads to unfounded criticisms and spurious accusations. At times, it can become even hostile.
Not only do we seek to destroy our competitors but we would even justify and rationalize our actions. For who would be so brazen to admit that he is jealous or fearful. So King Saul had to justify his intention to rid David from his life. Thus, it behooves us to be in touch with our feelings and emotions when we are reacting to the success of others. You will know that a person is not a threat to you when that person does not compete with your popularity or deprive you of your security. Indeed, this is where the discernment of spirits, the examination of our conscience is so critical. Otherwise, our emotions will control our thinking, leading us to do things that will hurt not only our perceived competitors but ourselves as well.
So what must we do when faced with such people whom we never intend to provoke to jealousy? There is really nothing much we can do except to affirm them and mitigate their unreasonable fears. At the same time, we cannot stop doing good, for that would only surrender truth and love to the devil. How then can we deal effectively with jealousy?
Firstly, if we have good friends to be our mediators, that would truly be a blessing, as in the case of David who had Jonathan to stand by him and vouch for his sincerity. We can take a leaf from Jonathan when he tried to dissuade his father from his intent by speaking favourably of David.
Secondly, knowing that others are jealous of your good works and success, it might be helpful to cool the situation by lying low for a while without giving up on your ideals so that the person can have time to sort out his or her feelings. That was what David did. We are told that he hid when Jonathan warned him, “My father Saul is looking for a way to kill you, so be on your guard tomorrow morning; hide away in some secret place.“ I like to think that one of the reasons why Jesus withdrew with His disciples to the lakeside was not simply because they were tired but that He also needed to think through how He should deal with the challenges of success.
Thirdly, we must prevent unhealthy competition or stoke jealousy, especially from our supporters. In success, one must remain humble and attribute it to others who have contributed to the success. At the same time, one should try to keep one’s supporters in check so that they will not stir up unnecessary jealousy and competition from other camps. No wonder when the unclean spirits saw Jesus and “fall down before him and shout, ‘You are the Son of God!’, Jesus “warned them strongly not to make him known.”
Fourthly, we must continue to love and persevere by serving our enemies so that through our untiring and humble generosity we can win over their confidence and trust. That was what David did. In spite of the attempts on his life and the sufferings that were inflicted on him, David never sought revenge even when he had many opportunities to kill Saul. Instead he kept appealing to his conscience and his love. Indeed, we read, “Jonathan brought him to Saul, and David attended on him as before.” That was the sincerity of David’s loyalty and allegiance to King Saul.
Yes, we must let those who are envious of us know that we are on their side and not against them but for them. We must affirm them and show our fraternal support and joy in their success. Hence, by affirming and supporting them in their activities and projects, they will be more receptive towards us as well. When they are successful, they will also become less threatened by our success.
Of course these pointers to win over our enemies are easier said than done. It is not easy to cultivate such a positive attitude towards those who have hurt us and are intent to destroy us. The natural tendency is to defend ourselves, especially when we are wounded. We find it difficult to forgive all the disparaging remarks they say about us. Even if we do not retaliate, we would prefer to avoid them all together. But this would only lead to greater misunderstandings, suspicion and greater fear.
This is where we must realize that patience, forgiveness, humility, compassion and love must come from the strength of God. Only through prayer and proper discernment of the spirits, can we purify our motives and heal our wounded hearts. So we must imitate the example of the psalmist who prayed and trusted in the Lord, saying, “In God I trust; I shall not fear. Have mercy on me, O God, for men trample upon me; all the day they press their attack against me. My adversaries trample upon me all the day; yes, many fight against me.” Without prayer, we would succumb or become vindictive since we need to protect our own interests. But if we know that God is on our side, we can leave Him to fight the battle for us. Like Jesus on the cross, we will respond with kindness and mercy to those who crucify us. David certainly showed how his deep love for the Lord had enabled him to be forgiving, not once but many times, to King Saul. Like Jesus, David would have said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they are doing.”
Let Jonathan be our example of authentic and selfless love for others. He would give up his own crown and the kingdom for the love and friendship of David. In fact, the person who should be jealous should not be Saul, since he was already king, but Jonathan, for more than anyone else, David was a real threat to his future, his security and the prize of kingship. Instead, Jonathan placed love and friendship before glory and success and his own interests. This is the true meaning of love and of service. Otherwise, he would not have been impartial in his judgment of the situation. May we learn from Jonathan not only to be a peace maker but also to love selflessly! Indeed, Jonathan, because of his selfless love, is worthy to be the peacemaker between David and Saul.