[stephenkhoo]

CONVERSION OR FULFILLMENT
SCRIPTURE READINGS: [ACTS 9:1-20; PS 117:1-2; JN 6:52-59 ]

Very often, we speak about the conversion of St Paul. His story of how he was converted to the Lord is critical in understanding not just the person of St Paul but his mission to the Gentiles, which accounts for the turning point of Christianity. Without the conversion of St Paul, Christianity would have just remained a tiny sect within Judaism. The gospel would not have been preached to the ends of the earth. So important was the story of his conversion that Luke recounted the story of his conversion three times in the Acts of the Apostles, the event itself as narrated, then when Paul shared his conversion story at the Temple (Acts 22:4-16) and finally before King Agrippa. (Acts 26:9-18)

Hence, it is of interest to us as well to examine his conversion story and to determine whether this is a one-off event meant for Paul or the norm for everyone who is to be converted to the Lord. Often, when we look at our conversion or that of others, there are different degrees of commitment to the Lord. Some are more radical in their faith, most are lukewarm and many still are just nominal. How do we explain the different responses to the faith? Can we excuse ourselves that St Paul and the apostles and those saints were more called than us? They have been given the grace of encountering God more deeply and hence could give themselves more to the Lord. Is it a case in which we can justify that faith in Christ is ultimately the grace of God, as the Lord said in the gospel of John yesterday, “No one can come to me unless drawn by the Father who sent me.” (Jn 6:44)?

Apparently, to have such an encounter with God is truly a grace of God. This was what St Paul himself shared in his letter to Timothy. “I am grateful to Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, because he judged me faithful and appointed me to his service, even though I was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and a man of violence. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.” (1 Tim 1:12-14) Truly, encountering the mercy and love of God deeply is a grace of God. Of course, it also requires our active response to the grace given to us. We have heard so many conversion stories even in our times. We wonder why certain people have been touched by God so deeply and have their lives transformed radically through a retreat, a God-experience or some personal event in their lives. But for the majority, they can hardly hear God or feel His presence or His love and mercy. As a consequence, they continue to live either a life without God or just a nominal and lukewarm participation in their faith.

What, then, was his religious experience? We do not know exactly what happened in spite of his attempt to describe it. His conversion experience account along the road to Damascus is but the external account of a deeper mystical experience with the Lord of which no words would be able to describe adequately as he said in his letter to the Corinthians. “I know a person in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven – whether in the body or out of the body I do not know; God knows. And I know that such a person – was caught up into Paradise and heard things that are not to be told, that no mortal is permitted to repeat.” (2 Cor 12:2-4) Externally, based on the account, that whilst travelling to Damascus, “there came a light from heaven all round him. He fell to the ground, and then he heard a voice saying, ‘Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?'” When he asked, ‘Who are you, Lord?’ the voice answered, “I am Jesus, and you are persecuting me.” Although his men heard the voice, they saw no one. Saul was blinded and could see nothing for three days. It must have been such a bright light and an overwhelming experience of the divine presence, hearing Jesus, the Risen Lord speaking to him and instructing him what to do.

For three days, Saul must have been deep in prayer, reflecting on his encounter with the Risen Lord. We are told that not only was he without sight but he took neither food or drink. A true religious experience is not something that we encounter for a moment and then it is over. Those religious experiences, for example, of sighting visions and apparitions are to be held with suspect when the impact on the visionaries does not linger on for days and months and years. When we do not see the impact on the way we look at our life, the way we look at God from then on, more likely, it was just an emotional and psychological experience. The physical effects of a religious experience, if overwhelming, would have an impact on the spiritual life of a person for life. Indeed, Saul’s life changed radically. It dawned on him that he was ignorant about the truth of the Risen Lord and the faith of the Christians in Him. By persecuting the Christians, he made himself an enemy of God. All that he did as a pious Jew and strict rabbi became a disadvantage to him. (Phil 3:6-9)

What, then, do we make out of Saul’s conversion experience? Does St Luke the evangelist intend his experience to be a template for our personal conversion experience? Certainly not! However, the dynamics and the pattern for a conversion experience are found in Saul’s conversion story. Every authentic religious experience must include a personal encounter with the Lord, which happens uniquely in each person’s life. Few religious encounters are identical. Perhaps some are similar but they are all unique and singular and incomparable. If there is a religious encounter, it would ensue in witnessing and testimony, for such a beautiful experience cannot be kept unknown.

But it would not just be a verbal testimony of our experience; the acid test of a true religious encounter is a radical conversion of life, as in the case of Saul. It is a radical change of seeing God and relating with Him. It also leads to fellowship with those who have encountered Him. In other words, our religious experience, although unique, is never so isolated from others’ experience. There will be some similar features and at the end of the day, it is simply a recounting of our encounter with the Lord Jesus. It is this common story that binds us together as Church. This explains why Saul, after his conversion, was admitted into the Christian community since they all shared a common experience of the Risen Lord. He became a brother of Ananias, was baptized and shared fellowship with the Christians.

Most of all, it will always be seen in witnessing of our Lord. We read that Saul soon after, “began preaching in the synagogues, ‘Jesus is the Son of God’.” When we receive a deep encounter of the Lord, we are always given a mission. God does not just grace us with a deep religious encounter with Him but He has a mission for each one of us. After a religious experience, we must discern the call of God. In the case of Saul, God told Ananias, “this man is my chosen instrument to bring my name before pagans and pagan kings and before the people of Israel; I myself will show him how much he himself must suffer for my name.” We too have a mission whenever a deep religious experience is given.

Yet we must also say that in truth when we speak about St Paul’s conversion story, it was not so much a conversion from Judaism to Christianity. Rather, for St Paul, it was the fulfillment of Judaism. Paul never truly turned away from Judaism but he understood as the rest of the apostles did, that Christ was the fulfillment of the promise of God to Abraham, Moses and the prophets. So, Christ did not come to abolish the Law but to fulfill the law perfectly. Seeing the conversion of St Paul as a fulfillment of his search to be true to Judaism is important when we speak to others about converting to the Lord. Conversion, unless it is from a sinful life to a life of grace and holiness, is different from one who is searching for the true God. This is why, we believe that Christianity is the fulfillment of one’s search for God. Christ the Way, the Truth and the Life shows us the face of God. The other religions from our perspective, whilst not wrong, does not find fulfillment in Christ. So in reaching out to non-Catholics, we are called to acknowledge what is good and noble in their religions and cultures, and offer them the fulness of truth and love in Christ.