[stephenkhoo]

LEADING OTHERS INTO THE TRUTH PRESUPPOSES OUR ABILITY TO FACE THE TRUTH ABOUT OURSELVES

SCRIPTURE READINGS:ROM 3:21-30; LK 11:47-54

We all know very well that confronting oneself is one of the most painful things in life. Many of us just cannot accept the truth about ourselves. That is why, even in listening, we only listen to those whose ideas agree with ours, not whether they are true or not; or when we argue, we are concerned about protecting our opinions more than whether our views are right or wrong. This is basically the attitude of the scribes and Pharisees that Jesus had to contend with. But if it is simply this, then there is still something that can be done about it. However, our ego is so conniving that even when we are defensive of ourselves, we do it in such a subtle manner, so much so that we cheat ourselves without even realizing we are doing so.

And how do we do it? By covering up our real motives in what we do. This was what Jesus was condemning the Pharisees for in today’s gospel. They persecuted the prophets when they were alive, and only gave them the due respect when they were dead. Isn’t it strange that this is so true in our lives? We only show gratitude to people who have left us, or who have died; but not those who are still present with us. And what is the reason if not simply because the dead is less of a threat to us and we can interpret them the way we want to; but for those who are alive, we fear having to confront them. And so we cover our guilt by building tombs, or giving thanks and gratitude to those who have left us. This is but another way of avoiding having to confront the truth about ourselves.

But the danger is this – so long as we do not face the truth about ourselves, we can never be truly liberated. A person who destroys his enemies does not necessarily mean that he is at peace even if all his enemies were dead, because the real battle is the battle that goes on within his heart. The point is that his heart is still evil, selfish and insecure. That problem is not resolved and will resurface in other ways at other times.

That is why those of us who have unresolved problems in our lives should not build tombs over them by pretending that they do not exist and focus on something else that is more pleasing. For example, some of us might have problems with regards to our prayer life. We excuse ourselves by saying that our work is our prayer. Or when we have difficulties with our studies, or are too lazy to do so, we cover up our sloth by getting involved in church activities. Or some of us may have no personal experience and relationship with God, and so we deny this inadequacy by appearing to be theologically knowledgeable and competent. Then again, some of us might have issues with authority and loneliness; instead of confronting them and transcending them, we might be tempted to push the issues aside, suppress them and try to believe that we are not bothered or affected by them. The fact is that whatever personal problems and hang-ups we do not transcend, sooner or later, we will have to face them. What is not dealt with now will come back to haunt us, unleashing its full consequences on our lives.

But what is even more harmful for those of us who are superiors or leaders is that we unknowingly allow our hang-ups and repressed fears and anger to determine the way we deal with those under our charge. One cannot be a master if one has not grown in discipleship. Only one who has learnt to master himself and transcended his own personal struggles could be a mentor and be of real service to others. For the blind leading the blind will both fall into the ditch. Unless we have overcome our own personal struggles or at least are conscious that we are struggling with them, we cannot help others in their own struggles. Instead, Jesus warns us that we would be taking away the key of knowledge from them. We will mislead them and prevent them from finding the truth since we ourselves have not even resolved our own problems. Indeed, if we have not personally found God in our own lives, how can we possibly lead others to Him?

Perhaps the greatest tragedy that can happen to us leaders, parents and formators is when we who are called to be teachers of truth and love find ourselves hardly knowing God in our lives; and we cover this inadequacy or shortcoming by activities, performances, appearing holy and knowledgeable, while deep inside us, we know that we are hollow – merely empty vessels.

Today, we have one person, St Paul, who is our exemplar of one who has transcended his fears. St Paul went through much to find God in Jesus Christ in his life. He realized through the hard way that God is found not in achievements and slavish obedience to the laws, but faith in the goodness of God and openness to His providence.
Written by The Most Rev William Goh