[stephenkhoo]

Scripture Reflections
Wednesday, 01 August, 2012, 17th Week, Ordinary Time
PAYING THE PRICE OF BEING FAITHFUL TO OUR VOCATION
SCRIPTURE READINGS: JER 15:10, 16-21; MT 13: 44-46

If you have found a pearl of great value in life, are you willing to pay the price just as the merchant did when he sold everything he had to buy it? To risk everything for this one particular thing means to give your life to it. These parables of the hidden treasure and the pearl of great value found only in St Matthew’s gospel could be the evangelist’s way of suggesting that finding Jesus was better than all the money he made through his position as a tax-collector. Indeed, this has been the case for thousands of Christians who have given up their lives to become a priest, religious or a missionary for Christ. The joy of knowing and serving Jesus is greater than everything else in this world, so much so that those who found Him were willing to give up everything to follow Him.

What about us? Is Jesus the pearl that we are willing to give up everything for? Are we willing to pay the price to be with Jesus? The stark reality is that too often, we consider Jesus not like a treasure or an incomparable pearl but some item from a clearance sale. We do not mind having Jesus if the price is not too high. We desire to have both if possible. We want the world and also Jesus, provided He can give us the worldly things as well. And the truth is that many Christians come to Christ under the pretext of loving and serving Him when in fact they want to serve themselves. They come to Christ to get something from Him, not to give Him something. If they give anything to Him, it is provided they receive back ten-fold or more. So they do not give Him their wealth or resources out of love. It is more a kind of investment for worldly things. In truth, we are more willing to make sacrifices for earthly things and worldly honour than serving Jesus in our lives.

Yet, the fact remains that for heavenly things, there is a price to be paid. It is not given to those swines, as Jesus remarked, because they will step on them and destroy them. Anything that is truly worthwhile deserves to be given our whole heart, mind and soul and strength. What could anything be greater than worldly power and worldly wealth if not love? The Song of Songs has this to say, “Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly scorned.” (Songs 8:7) Truly, those who have experienced human love will appreciate even more when they experience the love of God, the love described by the mystics who have arrived at the stage of nuptial love, a love that is transforming. For the sake of love, many of us are willing to sacrifice even our wealth, status and position in life. What more if we come to experience the unconditional and overwhelming love of God in Christ and the Holy Spirit?

Jeremiah himself came to understand the price of sharing in the life of God. In the first reading he recognized the joy of receiving the Word and being called by Him. He said, “When your words came, I devoured them: your word was my delight and the joy of my heart; for I was called by your name.” However, the privilege of being called also implies the invitation to suffering. Five times in the book of Jeremiah (11:18-12:6, 15:10-21, 17:12-18, 18:18-23, 20:7-18), he complained to God because of the inner anguish he suffered under the weight of the prophetic office. He cursed his birth and lamented the sufferings on account of his vocation.

In our own ways, we too are like Jeremiah. Although, our trials and tribulations cannot be compared to his, yet how often in times of difficulty and when the weight of our vocation is overwhelming, we feel like quitting, especially when the going gets tough! This is particularly so when we are misunderstood, taken for granted, accused wrongly and treated unjustly. Many of us feel that our loved ones take advantage of us. We are always at their beck and call, more like their servants and financiers than their loved ones. Surely, many times in our lives, when we are going through a rough patch with our spouse or loved ones, don’t we instinctively want to give up?

Then there are those of us who are torn between two loves. Many a man wants to be a priest but is forced to choose between his vocation to serve Christ and someone whom he really loves. There is a great price to pay to serve the Lord in the priesthood and religious life. Certainly, in our pain and loneliness, many of us feel like giving up a responsibility given to us, to resign from some position or some project because we face many obstacles and challenges. This is even true in Church ministry when we have to deal with wounded Church members who are jealous of our position. We give up so easily because we are not quite ready to pay the price of the great pearl of life. So quickly like Jeremiah, we allow the joy and fulfillment we received through what we do to be overshadowed by our sufferings.

In such moments, like Jeremiah, we cry out to God. Like the psalmist we plead with the Lord, “Rescue me, God from my foes; protect me from those who attack me. See they lie in wait for my life; powerful men band together against me. For no offence, no sin of mine, Lord, for no guilt of mine, they rush to take their stand.” But the reply from the Lord at times, as Jeremiah found out, might not seem to be overly sympathetic. Instead of showing mercy, the Lord reprimanded him. God’s reply was certainly not overly sympathetic, insisting on Jeremiah’s repentance for his nearly blasphemous complaints. God said, “If you come back, I will take you back into my service; and if you utter noble, not despicable, thoughts, you shall be as my own mouth.”

Why repentance? God wanted Jeremiah to purify his love in serving Him and His people. More often than not, our service comes from our selfishness. As I have mentioned earlier, very few of us come to the Lord or serve Him out of pure love for Him and His love for us. We come to Him only because we desire something from Him. We do not truly love Him for His sake but we love Him for our sake. The moment, we feel we are not getting anything from Him we dump Him. Isn’t this what the purification of the dark night of the senses and the spirit is all about? In prayer, we come to the Lord only if we experience consolations, like having nice feelings of His presence and love, insights and visions. But when we experience desolation, His absence and darkness, we immediately give up praying. Because we serve the Lord for less than noble reasons, the Lord invites us to reflect for ourselves and repent of our own sins, rather than trying to justify ourselves for our suffering. Not all suffering that comes from our so-called enemies or those whom we serve are because of their injustice or lack of love. More often than not, maybe we are the ones who are at fault. We do not see our mistakes or lack of love.

The call to repentance really is a call to be faithful to one’s identity. Taking the easy way out or copping will not give us happiness. It means infidelity to oneself. Those of us who watched the Lion King movie will understand how Simba was trying to escape from his identity and his calling to be the King. Only by accepting his calling and being true to himself, could he find himself. To abandon our vocation and our calling in life is not only abandoning God but it is tantamount to being unfilial to oneself. For such a person, he only lives a life of regret, for he cannot find true happiness except when he is being himself and the person God has destined him to be. But if we stand up for God and for the love of Him like Jeremiah, we will find life and love.

So whilst God might appear to be indifferent to Jeremiah’s cries, He was actually renewing Jeremiah’s vocation. He promised him His divine protection if Jeremiah remained faithful to Him. Similarly, God is inviting us all again, especially those of us who are hesitating in our vocation in life. He is re-calling us to fidelity in our vocation and promising the protection of His presence. No matter what difficulties we encounter, we will find God with us when we are faithful to His call.

Where will His fidelity be found? God’s fidelity comes in the form of offering words of encouragement from scripture through contemplative prayer; through the sacraments, especially of reconciliation and the Eucharist. Quite often He comes through friends who console us even when they do not know our problems or send people to help us carry our problems. God never leaves us alone. He will always send an angel to support us in our vocation and be faithful to the end. At times, He confirms us by giving success to the work of our hands. With His assurance of fidelity and love we can carry on. Like the psalmist we only need to pray, “O my Strength, it is you to whom I turn, for you, O God are my stronghold, the God who shows me love. As for me, I will sing of your strength and each morning acclaim your love for you have been my stronghold, a refuge in the day of my distress.” Freedom, as Confucius says, comes from being faithful to our vocation, not the praises or criticisms of men. Only then we are truly free.

Written by Rev. Fr. William Goh