[stephenkhoo]

Friday, 27 January, 2012, 3rd Week, Ordinary Time
THE NATURE OF SIN AND GRACE IN ITS DIMENSION OF GROWTH
SCRIPTURE READINGS: 2 SM 11:1-4A, 5-10A, 13-17; MARK 4: 26-34

Some of us can get rather discouraged when we begin on the path of spiritual conversion. Most would think that after a conversion experience, we would not fall into sin. We expect immediate sanctification. This is why when we fail in our Christian life, we feel like hypocrites. This makes some of us give up in our struggle to grow in holiness as the results do not seem sufficiently tangible. When we feel this way, it is because we fail to understand the dynamics of spiritual growth and conversion.

The gospel today speaks of the mystery of sin and grace in our spiritual life. If we are to grow in holiness, then we must be aware of the principles of growth with respect to sin and grace. Very often, we do not take seriously the relationship between grace and human growth. As is often said, grace does not destroy nature but elevates nature. For grace to operate, nature is presupposed. This means also that the grace of God works through human and natural ways. It does not bypass the human psychology of man but makes use of the human psychology for growth.

In the gospel today, Jesus provides us two fundamental principles of growth, which must be respected and recognized, whether with respect to the question of sin or grace. The principles that Jesus used are taken remarkably from nature itself. In the two parables of today’s gospel, Jesus illustrates to us the nature of growth. Firstly, there is the principle of growth, which takes place imperceptibly and gradually. This is illustrated in the first parable of the man who scattered seed on the land and the seed sprouted and grew gradually till it was ready for harvest. Secondly, in the next parable of the mustard seed, Jesus highlights that growth starts in a small way but the end is unimaginable. This is very true in the case of the mustard seed, which begins from a very small seed and yet grows up to be a huge tree.

Now, when we apply these principles to the question of sin and grace, then it behooves us to pay attention to what is happening in our lives, be it our response to grace or our failures expressed in our sins. From the perspective of sin, we must always realize that sin begins in a small way. Sin never begins big. In the history of sin, we find that sin increases in intensity over time. This is true of every person’s sins. In the case of Adam and Eve, one sin led to another sin. From disobedience, it led to jealousy in the case of Cain, which then ended in murder. Later on, we see how humankind became corrupt by the time of Noah.

The first reading, David’s sin was but a repetition of the history of sin, and also the repetition of the sin of Saul as well. In the past weeks, we read how Saul was anointed by the Lord to be the king of Israel. However, the beginning of his self-destruction started with his jealousy over David who killed Goliath. Jealousy led to mistrust, insecurity and suspicion. The evil spirit which entered into him led him into a rage. Now and then, he would fall into depression, which led him to plan David’s demise.

It seems humankind never learns, for David too fell into the same trap. He started well as a good, noble, honest and God-fearing king. However, today, we read that his downfall began with idleness. The first reading says clearly: “when kings go out on campaign,” “David, however, remained in Jerusalem.” Instead of leading his men to battle, he “sent out Joab along with his officers and the army of Israel.” As the axiom goes, “an idle mind is the devil’s workshop.” Idle people will fall into sin. Temptations and foolish ideas come to those who are too free. The devil will start planting evil and sinful thoughts into the mind of the person.

This was what happened to David. It was then that he saw a beautiful woman bathing and immediately lusted after her. He had her brought to him and then slept with her. When he was told that she had conceived his child, he tried to cover up his adulterous act by having Uriah put to death. Of course he attempted to cover up by having Uriah sleep with his wife, but the good army officer refused to do so as he was in active service. As a result he ended up killing Uriah his good officer by sending him to the frontline battlefield. It is clear therefore that sin starts with innocent things. It always begins in a small way and from within, imperceptible to the person too. The devil is too smart to make us commit big sins right from the start. No one begins with murder. One begins with jealousy, then later, consumed with hatred, we desire to kill. Not only does sin begin with small things, it comes also in an imperceptible way. Very rarely do we feel that we have done anything that is truly wrong. A person begins with fantasying, then lusting after another person. He begins with kisses, then ends up in bed. Such is the reality of sin.

For this reason, St Ignatius warns us that in everything we do, we must always be on the watch to see whether it is good at the beginning, the middle and the end. A thing that is apparently good at the beginning might not be so later on. A relationship that starts well may turn into lust and even result in a scandal, hurting others around us. For this reason, we must always be sensitive to our actions and our thoughts. St Theresa reminds us that even a thread is enough to enslave us. So we must never think that it is a small sin and therefore it is all right; there is no need to worry. So long as we know there is a sin in us, then we must strive to free ourselves from that bondage. Failure to do so will lead us to greater sin. Once we allow ourselves to live in that sin, it will eventually become too difficult for us to break loose. This is particularly true of habits, especially cultivated vices, e.g. addiction to liquor or smoking.

Nevertheless, there is a big difference between David and Saul. Whereas Saul’s evil intentions ultimately destroyed him, David, immediately recognized and admitted his sinfulness when his mistakes were brought to his attention. The responsorial psalm expressed the contrition of David. He went into fasting and asked the Lord for forgiveness when the prophet Nathan exposed his sinfulness. Unlike Saul, he was not vindictive but was humble enough to learn from his mistake. Although he was not exempted from the consequences of his sins, when his son died, he nevertheless was forgiven by the Lord.

We can therefore learn from David. The moment we repent of our sins, conversion begins. Of course, the consequences of our actions cannot be forgiven, since nature will take its course. However, new life begins with conversion. So, new life must begin with the desire to repent and start all over again. When we begin the road to conversion, then our lives will change, slowly but gradually. This is important for us to remember as well.

Quite often, people on the path of conversion become impatient and begin to doubt their growth in spiritual life. When faced with constant failure to live up to the resolutions, they give up completely. The parables of today’s gospel must once again remind us that growth in holiness is also gradual. We might have the impetus of conversion because of a deep encounter with the Lord, but conversion is something that goes on through life. St Paul himself, and Peter, who encountered the Lord in a special way, continued to strive for conversion throughout their lives. The thorn that St Paul speaks about is his expression of his ongoing conversion experience. Indeed, in Romans, he speaks of the inner struggle within him, between what he wanted to do and what he actually did.

So we must remain patient in our spiritual growth. If we fail, we must simply be like David who turned to the Lord for forgiveness. We must pick ourselves up again. If we continue in our conversion process, we will change, surely but gradually. As I have said, grace does not destroy human nature but perfects it. We must never be discouraged. At any rate, even though we might not seem to have changed, yet we are truly changing, because change is not a visible phenomenon as change takes place in the heart.

Indeed, the path to holiness is a long process. It takes years. We do not become saints overnight. However, we must resolve to begin now. Moreover, to our surprise, with the grace of God, we will become like the mustard seed. We will become such a big tree such that others will come to experience the love and presence of God because of our holiness. Many who are attracted and influenced by us will also travel the same path to holiness.