[stephenkhoo]

Tuesday, 21 February, 2012, 7th Week in Ordinary Time, Cycle 2
RECONCILING THE INNER DIVISIONS WITHIN OURSELVES

SCRIPTURE READINGS: JMS 4:1-10; MK 9:30-37

What is the cause of division among us? St James invites us to look within ourselves. He poses: “Isn’t it precisely in the desires fighting inside your own selves?” Indeed, the beginning of disunity originates from each individual who is at war within himself. What then are those factors that destroy the integrity of the individual? Basically, there are two reasons why we lack integrity within us, namely, greed and pride.

Greed is manifested in two ways. Firstly, it expresses itself in the inordinate cravings of man. When we crave for something, we become greedy. We begin to complain, grumble and become dissatisfied with life. Greed leads to jealousy and often, because of greed, we will do anything to ensure that we fulfill our desires. As a result we cannot but overstep our boundaries and hurt others. So desire is the cause of our unhappiness.

Secondly, it is not simply greed but our identification with the world and its values. When we begin to seek for pleasures and comfort; power and prestige, then we are no better than people in the world. By identifying ourselves with the world, we become inward looking and envious of others who are more successful or have more than us. Indeed, we make God our enemies, as James tells us, since God is a jealous God who wants us for Himself alone. Without our total availability and surrender to Him, we become divided within ourselves. God and His values are no longer our priority.

The second root cause of our inner tension is our pride. This pride is manifested firstly in our ambition. Ambition, be it the ambition for power, prestige or popularity, is the cause of our misery. When we are ambitious, we become restless and tense. Indeed, quite often we lose happiness in our ministry because of the stress we get in trying to live up to people’s expectations and demands. Our ministry becomes an obligation, a duty and a burden. There is no more joy left as we do everything under stress and reluctantly.

Of course, the real problem is that we lack the humility to recognize our limits in life. We take upon ourselves one project after another. We are afraid to say “no.” We are also afraid to fail. As a result, we work and work and work until we are burnt out. Not only does our ambition make us stressful and miserable, but we transfer our stress and edginess to our subordinates as well. Indeed, such is the cycle of ambition that misery is created from within and then inflicted on others.

The second manifestation of our pride is of course seen in our obstinacy. We want things to be done the way we want. We want everyone to follow our will. We are intolerant of others who think differently from us, for fear that they will hinder us from achieving our goals and objectives. So we view them as threats to our ambition. As a result, we begin to fight with each other. It is our stubborn will, the sin of pride that deceives us into believing that we know best and thus must have things our ways.

How then can we get out of this situation? Does it mean that it is wrong to have desires, ambition and a strong will? The irony is that if we do not have desires then it implies we do not have any goals in life. And if we lack ambition in life, then we become complacent and disorientated. Furthermore, without a strong will, we will never be able to achieve anything in life. So there seems to be a dilemma within us. Either way we seem to err, as there are contradictions in whichever choice we make.

However, when we look at Jesus, does it appear that Jesus did not have any desires, ambition or lack of will? Certainly not! From the passion prophecy of Jesus, something can be gathered about the way Jesus looked at life. Firstly, the fact that Jesus was ready to face death for His kingdom message means that Jesus put the interests of His Father and the people He loves before His own. He could have saved His own skin by staying away from Jerusalem. In other words, Jesus did not crave for His own needs. Rather, He subordinated everything to the proclamation of the Kingdom. So Jesus certainly had desire, but only the desire to serve His Father in humility.

Secondly, He too had great ambition, which was to fulfill the plan of His Father. In His readiness to face death, Jesus manifested His utter submission to the Father’s plan. He was certainly a determined person, but only insofar as to do the will of His Father. Instead of following His own will, He humbly surrendered everything to the Father’s plan, even though humanly speaking He could not see very clearly how His death could bring about the intended establishment of the Kingdom. He could even accept failure for His mission, if that was what the Father wanted of Him. Hence, even in the face of death, He surrendered Himself to the Father.

Thirdly, Jesus was certainly a servant in the fullest sense of the word. For Him, to be great is to be a servant, and not simply a servant, but a servant to the marginalized and the unknown who cannot give you back anything in return. This is implied in His advice to His disciples who were jolting for power. Indeed, He declared, “If anyone wants to be first, he must make himself last of all and servant of all … Anyone who welcomes one of these little children in my name, welcomes me.” This is a great demonstration of humility in service.

Hence, if want to find happiness and inner peace in life, we must attune our hearts, our minds, and our wills with the will of God. We must align our plans and ambition with the plan of God. Only then can we find real peace in our lives. For this reason, we need to pray. St James tells us that prayer is the key to true inner peace. Peace of mind and contentment must come from our prayer and discernment. What would such a prayer of discernment entail?

Firstly, we cannot pray for something simply to indulge our own desires; our own cravings. By so doing, we are making the world our friend and making God our enemy. “Anyone who chooses the world for his friend turns himself into God’s enemy.” For when we choose the world and our own emotional and physical gratification, God is no longer the first love in our lives. So to find real peace, we must be free of cravings and desires, especially of material things, even food.

Secondly, we must pray for humility to accept God’s will in our lives. For as St James said, “God opposes the proud but he gives generously to the humble. Give in to God, then; resist the devil.” Only when we are humble, can we see the wisdom of God’s will and plan for our lives. Instead of being ignorant and always insisting on things to be done our way, it behooves us to be humble and obey God instead. In this way, we purify our minds and unite our minds and hearts with God, instead of wavering and living a life of conflict within ourselves, with our hearts fighting within us to do our will and God’s will.

But most of all, in the prayer of discernment, we must ask whether whatever we are asking for, whatever we decide to do, whatever plans and ambitions we have, are more for ourselves, our convenience and comfort, or truly for the service and good of others. So long as whatever we do is truly for the good of others and not for our own vested interests, then we can say confidently that our prayer would be answered since our mind is that of God’s.

Yes, it is easy to find scapegoats for our unhappiness. It is easy to blame our superiors, our friends and even our loved ones for things that do not agree with us. But the real problem lies in our attitudes and our disposition towards things and life. Because we fail to recognize that the problem ultimately lies within ourselves, we find fault with others. As a consequence, not only do we create misery for ourselves, but we also make others miserable too.

Thus in order that we might find motivation to turn to Jesus for guidance, we must first and foremost recognize our misery. James tells us, “Look at your wretched condition, and weep for it in misery; be miserable instead of laughing, gloomy instead of happy.” Indeed, when we are aware that it is our attachment, our obstinacy, pride and self-centeredness that make us unhappy and bring about our separation from others, then we will come to God so that He can purify our minds and hearts. Let us therefore pray for the gift of discernment and most of all, a Christ-like mind and attitude towards life, things and people. This calls a total submission to God’s will in our lives by being generous in service, putting others before self.