[stephenkhoo]

Friday, 02 March, 2012, 1st Week of Lent
RECONCILIATION

SCRIPTURE READINGS: EZ 18:21-28; MT 5:20-26

Are you at peace? Why is there no peace? The root of our unhappiness is division. Externally, this division is manifested in our estranged relationship with our fellowmen. Spiritually, it is manifested in the absence of God in our lives. Personally, this division is rooted within ourselves. In other words, the absence of inner peace and joy springs from the lack of integrity. This is what the prophet said, “he shall live because of the integrity he has practiced.” So our misery comes from the fact that we live contradictory lives. We are confused ourselves and as a consequence, the inner division within us is expressed in our lack of understanding, charity and justice in our dealings with our fellowmen.

Indeed, finding inner peace and joy is the basis for anyone who truly wants to live. Otherwise, such a life is as good as a living death. This is what Ezekiel tells us. Death is the result of our own doing, our own sinfulness and not because of God. Sin, which is anti-love, brings about death. God wants us to live. Many of us might be physically alive but are really dead because there is no love in our lives. We substitute love with power and pleasure. Without love, we are not alive.

How then can we find ourselves? Finding ourselves is what integrity is all about. The antidote to integrity is reconciliation. That is why the gospel speaks on the theme of reconciliation, which is fundamental to Lent. In the second reading of Ash Wednesday, Paul tells us “Be Reconciled.” And so we are called to be reconciled with God, within ourselves and with others. How can this reconciliation be brought about so that we can live more integrated lives?

In the first place, we need to acknowledge our sins, our lack of integrity. This is what Ezekiel is calling us. Without recognizing that we lack integrity in the way we live, we cannot speak of any reconciliation. “If the wicked man renounces all the sins he has committed, respects my laws and is law-abiding and honest, he will certainly live; he will not die. But if the upright man renounces his integrity, commits sin, copies the wicked man and practices every kind of filth … All the integrity he has practiced shall be forgotten … and for this he shall die.” So before we can speak of reconciliation, we must first be ready to renounce our sins. So long as we are not humble and courageous or desire to do so, we cannot begin the path to integrity. Reconciliation, or coming to terms with oneself, is the first step to integrity.

Secondly, we need to be reconciled with our neighbours, especially our brothers and sisters, as Jesus taught in the gospel. We cannot have peace within ourselves if we continue to hold grudges against those who have hurt us; or when we know that someone holds grudges against us. We may pretend that we are not bothered. But the fact is that they do bother us. Whenever we think of them, or we come across them, or when our memories surface, then we cannot but feel hurt all over again. The wound never really heals; only buried. Deep in our unconscious, the heart is dis-eased. It is sick and wounded because when we are separated from others, especially those who are closest to us, we cannot but feel empty and lost. One of the greatest regrets in life is that we were never able to make peace with people whom we had quarrels or misunderstandings. When the relationship is not properly healed or closed, whenever memories of them come to mind, we would feel sad and kind of regret. Worse still, if by the time we want to be reconciled, and that person is no longer be around, because of death or simply loss of contact, then we would have to live with the guilt we carry in our hearts till death. To know that you have never really been forgiven or that the person is still hurting because you have not forgiven, is a memory that you would not like to burden yourself with.

Whatever the case, if we are not at peace with our fellowmen, we cannot be at peace with God either. This is because God reaches out to us through our fellowmen. The way to experience God’s love is through others. So long as we are not healed, we tend to withdraw from others. When someone has betrayed our trust, our conclusion is that no one else can be trusted anymore; more so if that person is closest to us or is a representative of an institution, as in the case of those who are hurt by priests and religious leaders. No one can hurt us most than our brothers and sisters as Jesus specifically singled them out in the gospel. Aren’t the biggest pain in our hearts those inflicted by our loved ones? Family feuds, quarrels and misunderstandings are often carried in our hearts for years and even generations. The most difficult people to forgive or ask for forgiveness from are our loved ones, especially when we have been badly hurt. Those who have been so badly wounded by religious leaders have either left the Church or never got involved again in ministry, because they are afraid to get hurt again. By so doing, they are depriving themselves of ways in which God wants to reach out to us. We put obstacles in the paths of God.

Understandably we can appreciate why Jesus is adamant about the need to be first reconciled with our brother before we can even present the gift at the altar. Furthermore, Jesus speaks of the last penny to be paid. That is to say, so long as we do not make peace with those who have hurt us, we will remain their slaves, since memories of them will always make us feel pain, ache and anger. Our enemies whom we do not set free ironically are the ones whom we have given power to weigh us down emotionally and spiritually. We can never let these sore feelings go until we are reconciled with them; only then are we set free.

But how can we find the grace to acknowledge our sins, forgive ourselves and forgive others or ask for forgiveness? Not without God’s grace. The capacity to forgive others presupposes that we have forgiven ourselves. And we can forgive ourselves only when we have received God’s forgiveness. Today’s assurance of the prophet about God’s forgiveness therefore must be the starting point of reconciliation and the path to integrity. The Lord says, “Am I likely to take pleasure in the death of a wicked man – it is the Lord who speaks – and not prefer to see him renounce his wickedness and live? … When the sinner renounces sin to become law-abiding and honest, he deserves to live. He has chosen to renounce all his previous sins, he shall certainly live; he shall not die.” The psalmist says, “If you, O Lord, mark iniquities, Lord, who can stand? But with you is forgiveness, that you may be revered.” God does not ask us to forgive others without first forgiving us. Forgiving our brothers and sisters is at times simply impossible, especially when we have suffered so much humiliation, pain, loss of property and even physical injury. God forgives us not once, but again and again. He only wants us to repent so that we will live.

Let us therefore turn to the Lord during this time of Lent to ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten us in our ignorance and to lead us to experience His love. With the healing love from Him, we can then find the strength to let go and let God take over. The gospel today, when read within a Christian context, suggests that we let the Eucharist be the source of that love and the path to reconciliation, since from that we receive love and healing by the Lord. We want to be reconciled with our brothers and sisters so that this union with Him is perfected in our reconciliation and union with them. “If you are bringing your offering to the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering before the altar, go and be reconciled with your brother first, and then come back and present your offering.” Our desire to receive the Lord in the Eucharist will be the motivation for asking for forgiveness for our sins; and the Eucharist will give us the strength to be reconciled with our brothers. The Eucharist truly, then, is the source of unity and love with God, ourselves and with others.