[stephenkhoo]

THE WILDERNESS IS THE PLACE WHERE GOD WILL DRAW US TO HIM
SCRIPTURE READINGS: HOS 2:16-18, 21-22; MT 9:18-26
http://www.universalis.com/20140707/mass.htm

Our vocation and our baptism is the consequence of our being loved by God. We respond by giving Him our lives, either through service in ministry or simply living good Christian lives. This was certainly the case of the Israelites. They too were called to a covenanted life, to be God’s people as a result of their liberation from Egypt.


However, quite often, like them, our love for the Lord wanes. Our spiritual life becomes lukewarm. Our love for God and His mission becomes tepid. We begin our vocation with great enthusiasm, but over the years, we lose our intimacy with the Lord. Consequently, our zeal for the Lord’s house also weakens. What could be the factors that contribute to this situation?


Ironically, it could be due to our work. Often, we give ourselves too much to our work and commitment, at the expense of our time with God. We begin to lose that intimacy with the Lord. We forget that our strength comes from Him. More and more, we start to rely on our own strength and ingenuity to do the work of God. No wonder, our ministry loses its effectiveness.


Hence, now and then we fall into this melancholic mood, depressed at the situation we are in. We find ourselves losing interest and commitment in our ministry. At times, we feel so empty and meaningless in what we are doing. Most of all, we are not happy with ourselves. Even if we are successful in our ministry, we know that something is missing in our lives. So what is this vacuum?


It is our thirst for God. That is why God allows us to experience such emptiness in our lives in order to lure us back to Him. Yes, as the prophet says, “I am going to lure her and lead her out into the wilderness and speak to her heart.” God wants to be our husband and to be in union with us forever. So says the prophet, “I will betroth you to myself forever, betroth you with integrity and justice, with tenderness and love … with faithfulness and you will come to know the Lord.” Yes, ultimately, God does not need our work. He wants our love. Our ministry is the consequence of the love He has showered on us.


So when we have this feeling of wilderness and emptiness, it is the Spirit prompting us in our hearts to return to Him. The wilderness is meant to lead us to a conversion experience or a renewal of our conversion experience. The latter is vital to revitalize our faith, relationship and commitment to Him. Without a conversion experience, it would be difficult or almost impossible to be zealous in our vocation. The depth of our emptiness in life and in our ministry will determine the impact of this conversion experience. The more desperate we are, the greater the conversion experience.


This was certainly the case of the official of the synagogue and that of the woman with hemorrhage. Both were desperate for the power of God to be manifested in their lives. Because both of these situations were deep experiences, the testimonies and impact were greater. In the case of the President of the synagogue, to turn to Jesus for help was already a great sign of humility for him. But more than just humility was his faith in Jesus, because his daughter had already died. He believed in Jesus’ power not only to heal but also to give life to his daughter. And he was not disappointed.


Similarly, when we consider the situation of the woman with hemorrhage, it was also a miraculous situation. It was another event of wonder, since this woman was suffering in shame and in secret for twelve years over an embarrassing illness. We can presume that she was too ashamed even to speak of it and thus carried the burden with her over all these years. But we are told that Jesus “turned around and saw her.” Jesus knew her desperation for a cure.


What is important when we analyze all these miraculous events is that it brings about wonder and conversion. We are told that after the healing of the woman with hemorrhage and the raising of the official’s daughter, “the news spread all round the countryside.” Thus for both the recipients of the miracles and the witnesses, they could truly pray today’s responsorial psalm meaningfully, blessing the Lord and praising Him for His mighty deeds and wonderful works. For in encountering such wondrous events, the Lord is experienced as “kind and full of compassion … abundant goodness.”


Today, we need to pray for that kind of conversion experience in our lives. The experience of wilderness and emptiness give us the disposition to be available to such encounters with the Lord. Unless we have some kind of ongoing conversion experience in our lives, it is difficult to be excited about God and about the Good News, since we have no real good news to proclaim to others. But when we dispose ourselves to God for Him to touch us in our insufficiency and helplessness, we will feel His power, His love and His compassion. Only then can we truly say with conviction like the Prophet, that God is truly our “integrity and justice … tenderness and love … faithfulness” and that we truly have “come to know the Lord” as Lord.


Such personal realization and experience of His mighty works and abundant goodness will re-energize us in our mission, which is ultimately the witnessing and proclamation of God who is kind and full of compassion. This is the Good News experienced by us and now proclaimed in our lives. So let us thank the Lord for the wilderness we experience from time to time, because this is the way that God wants to lure and lead us to Him so that He can speak to our hearts.

Written by The Most Rev William Goh
Archbishop of Singapore